Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Welcome to the Pity Party.....

First of all, Im going to start off by apologizing to all of you reading: Im sorry.  I dont want my blog to be a place of negative, sad feelings; however, when I started this blog it was to document our journey to become parents. So, that's what I'm going to continue doing.  Don't get tears in your eyes yet--this isnt necessarily bad news--in fact, its NOT bad news in the slightest. Im just having a moment.....bare with me. After I get this off my chest, I plan to take a deep breath, put my big girl panties on, and deal with it.

....We went today for our post-op doctors visit.  I got to see all the pretty, cool pictures of my insides--except my ovaries, they weren't pretty. Several things: LOTS of endometriosis, a LARGE septum in my uterus, and last but not least, a little inguinal hernia friend that still remains.  He was very pleased with how my uterus instantly corrected itself after he removed the large growth, and he was equally as pleased with how much endometriosis he was able to remove.  There is some endometriosis that cannot be removed surgically that is growing inside the uterine wall, so that will require medicinal treatment.  Phew! Lupron.  Basically, long-story-short, I will start injections on August 19th that will throw me into a medically induced menopause for the next 6 months....holy geez.  I wont go into all of this with you, but we would appreciate your prayers over this time :) (Alan mainly.)  I'm nervous, mostly because I have NO IDEA what to expect.  They assured me some hot flashes, night sweats, sleeplessness, and mood swings. Oh boy, how fun?!?

I'm GOOD, though! :) After all of this is said and done, we WILL have a family!  It all settled in with me today when Alan and I were going over our "family timeline."  It was made clear that we will not, cannot, have a baby in our little hands until sometime during 2012--which really hit me hard for some reason.  That is why Im having the "blues" this evening.  Forgive me for feeling this way. I know plenty of girls who can't have babies, which makes me feel super selfish for these feelings.

I plan on taking some time over the next few days to write down ALL the plenty positive things about our situation. I expect some trying times over the next six months, and I want my list to refer to on the days that I'm not feeling up to par. (Plus, Alan mentioned its best that I write them down. He feels like he might get in trouble for gently reminding me of these things during my what-could-be manic phases--haha!!)

Thanks for your listening ears tonight! :)   I'm ready to get my "game face" on and finish making my body completely healthy.



The Nolen's said...

Lindsi - we're all ready to battle this with you! Much love sista!

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