Tuesday, September 6, 2011

New Beginnings

I guess I celebrated "Labor Day" weekend the most appropriate (least desirable) way.....laboring (aka: working!)  I'm sitting at my desk this morning finishing up my 5th 12-hour shift in a row. Man, am I ever looking forward to my days off?! Bentley and I officially declared a "Hancock Family Retreat" this weekend. We don't exactly know what that means, but we do know it includes lots of cuddly, fun family time :)

I've had a bit of a rough weekend, emotionally speaking.  Long story short: as of last week, I have no idea what I'll be doing for a job after Cale arrives.  We knew that I couldn't return to my job full-time after the baby is here from day one--the hours are impossible (five 12's in a row!) for a family with a newborn (especially when my husband is gone every third day for 24-hours).  On May 10th, I approached my boss to tell him the news of our pregnancy. In the very same conversation, I told him I would not be returning full-time, but would like to remain employeed part-time (24-30 hours/week) if that was a possibility. He assured me that it was, and we've had several very open conversations about the part-time hours since that point in time in which he never indicated anything otherwise.  Last week I got the 'ol "we don't have that in our budget right now" speech. Well, great!?  12-weeks until the baby is here is a perfect time to go job searching, NOT! Who wants to hire a chick to work for the next 10-12 weeks before she goes on a maternity leave?! Not to mention, that would totally take away any benefits (maternity leave, short-term disability, whatever the company uses).  I've been at my company for five years and have three weeks of paid vacation to use on top of my 'maternity leave.'  Not that any of this is illegal by my employer, I just don't find it to be ethical---especially when I was very open with them from day one about my intentions. Had I known this information in May, I could've taken my little booty out to find a new position at that time. Huummph.

Enough about that story. It's just left me rather emotional this weekend----granted, I think it's a blessing in disguise. I just don't like when these sort of important things for the future are so uncertain.  I've cried, and cried, and cried. The emotional girl in me is taking it personal; however, I understand that business is business.  God has granted us with the deepest desires of our hearts, and just when we think the stars and moons are aligning for our life....bam!  I trust that God has something incredible in store for us, so my prayers have been for him to start revealing that plan to me.  With that being said, I don't want to become complacent in my waiting.

I read these words this weekend in The Journey by Billy Graham:

"An architect draws the plans for a new building-but it still has to be built. A composer writes a new piece of music-but it still has to be played. A chef devises a new recipe-but the ingredients still have to be cooked.  In the same way, God has given us a blueprint for living-but we must know what it is and then put it into action."

I'm trusting and anxiously awaiting His plan to be revealed to me--hopeful and excited to start this new season of our lives. 



Ashley said...

That really sucks about your employer... technically you'd be saving him money going back part time and he could get another part time employee for the other have of your shift... I think I would wait it out until after the baby and see what is happening then. Good luck and cheer up!!! Cale wouldn't want his momma sad!!

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry! But, I believe this is all parts of God's plan and it will work out! God is GREAT :) Keep your head up and I will be sending prayers your way :)

Anonymous said...

When I started reading your post it brought tears to my eyes because I know exactly how you are feeling. I was in a very similar situation when I was pregnant with Caleb. Ever since I was a little girl my hearts desire had been to be a stay at home mommy. After we found out I was pregnant we talked about the logistics of this dream and decided there was no way we could make it financially without me working. (In man's eyes that is) I went ahead and quit my job trusting that God would provide something for me to do after I had the baby. All I can say is, God will provide in ways you won't even be able to explain to other people. I think God has very special plans for mommies that are willing to invest everything into their babies lives. What can be more important than that?! Do not worry about where you are going to work or what is going to happen down the road. Enjoy every moment of this journey and God will bless you for it! ~Jenny Sova

Paige said...

I know exactly how you feel Lindsi. I am also going through this with my work as well. Although, I do not have the hours that you work working second shift with a newborn and a husband that works 10 hours or more a day is impossible. I have been praying over this for months now and will continue to do so (for us both.) I hope that your week has since gotten better for you!!

Ness said...

Linds-Sorry about what's going on, we all know that your employer is bad about that, they did the same to me with KaeLee. You might try going to Indian Health Care Resource Center of Tulsa, they are looking for an Eligibility Clerk (office job where you actually help people-I loved it there; good benefits and pay too) Hours are M,T,W,F 0800-1700 and TH 1000-1900. Phone 9185881900. Other positions are usually open too. Good luck!

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