I have a serious case of the Monday's today. As in, I'm really tempted to write an entire bullet-point post of nothing but grouchiness....but, then y'all might not like me anymore ;) I think I will give-in to my grouchy ways to an extent, but follow it by a nice positive thought (at least it might be good for a laugh in the future!).
- I thought that maybe my handsome faced husband would get the *hint, hint* from my recent "Helplessly Romantic Heart needs Help" post. This girl is dying for some form of romance in my life. I think that the impending arrival of our son has sent me into this tailspin neediness for romance! I'm going to throw him under the bus for a second.....
In my little romantical head, I knew we both had Friday night off work. I was for sure that he would magically suggest a dinner date and dote on his pretty pregnant wife. Lo and behold, I got all gussied up--curled hair and everything! On his way home from golf, around 5pm, he called to see if I wanted anything from Taco Bueno. Sad face for me.
Then, Saturday night we attended a wedding---he DJed the event. I was looking maaaahvelous and dressed up this night too, as I was looking forward to the possibility of a slow dance with my man. Be still my heart, right?! Wrong. (Here's where I share too much). For those who have been pregnant before, you know that pregnancy can 'stop you up' for an extended period of time. During the reception the need to elimiate some waste hit me (this made me excited!), so after sharing the news with him I pranced off to the bathroom. No sooner did I drop my panty hose and settle in on the commode did I hear our song 'Carried Away' start to play. Whaaaaat?! So, I listened to our wedding song (that I could've been slow dancing to) all by my lonesome from the bathroom stall. Sad face.
I'm pitiful and should be ashamed of this new neediness, geez. Now, in his defense, he has a lot on his plate right now--other than the two rounds of golf he played last week AND the two nights out he enjoyed with friends (sorry, honey!). He's been spending his days off studying at the house for a big promotional exam at the beginning of December. I know he is not normally the type to be studious or confined to the books all day long, so it's quite a committment on his part. It would be such a blessing to his career and our family if he promoted, and I know he's feeling that pressure too!
Herein lies the problem with my selfishness: I'm getting larger, more uncomfortable, and more moody in my third trimester; thus, I'm think I need more attention and doting. In reality, I just need to man-up and be his cheerleader to the 100th-degree! It's much more productive than my whininess ;) Problem solved!
- My work situation is driving me nutty. I still have no earthly idea what I'll be doing for a job after Cale arrives. Between my boss, his boss, and the boss above her, I get thirteen different stories---obviously no one likes to communicate around this joint. This is par for the course, and it's nothing I didn't know about the chain of command around here. I've dealt with feelings of anger, resentment, and sadness regarding this situation and how things are being handled. Honestly, I've been wanting a way out of here for a while, and this might be my chance.
Do you think this situation is God slapping me upside the head, reminding me what it's like to lean on Him?! During our bout with infertility, I thought I'd mastered this concept---obviously not. I know that there is a plan for me, for our family. It's time to wake-up and trust GOD again. There's no sense in causing myself emotional stress over this situation when it's clearly out of my control. Thank God that He takes care of these things! Problem solved!
- When I look tired, grouchy, and pregnant AND I'm sitting at my desk during the lunch hour with my head tilted back and eyes closed......it is NOT a good time to try to tell me gossip on all the "new" people out on the streets (ambulances) that I've never met before. I don't really care that "Sally keeps getting the north streets confused with the east streets, so she's thinking about quitting" and I don't care that "Billy didn't like his training officer so he's put in a request for another one."
Again, me being selfish. I'm starting to see a trend here, huh? Remember the whole Love God, Love People thing?! I should try to get better at that.....pronto! This attitude obviously isn't what I've been called to--I'll take the "when someone ask you to go one mile with them, go two miles" approach. Much better, problem solved!
Basically, I need a good old-fashioned whipping and a "turn your frown upside down" speech.
I have so much to be grateful for, and my life has been blessed far beyond what I deserve. Here's to putting my big girl panties on and dealing with these situations the way my Father would......cheers?